good day
28 July, 2005
Hey everyone, I finally got the password and username from waiyee. Just read all the posts and posts from jocelyn's, dawn's and waiyee's blog, I suddenly feel a surge of emotion course through me. What’s happening? Why now?
It seems like there isn't any answer to the questions because no one noticed it, no one did anything until it’s too late. Cliques form, that’s inevitable, but what makes cliques harmful and dangerous is the fact that cliques form a gossip club, backstabbing people in the class. And that by itself is scary. Seemingly, our class is so enthusiastic, fun-loving but there are problems occurring and some people don’t even pay heed. Maybe because we are sec four, so we have too much things on our minds, maybe we have a lot of commitment, but aren’t these all excuses?
Even for myself, I’ve begun to see the really ugly side of people I once regarded as close friends. The pretty side of the swan has finally been destroyed, the swan is no longer pretty. Moodswings, deception, competitiveness, jealousy and so much more emotions have shown up in our classroom. It’s okay to have moodswings but try not to vent it on other people because they dun deserve the nasty attitude. Deception is something I cant tolerate in the slightness bit, we are supposed to be a close-knitted class, we really ought to be honest with each other. There is no point hiding behind the scenes, competing with your friend, asking them for their notes, asking them to check your answers etc etc. it’s really pointless, there isn’t a battle to fight, but a battle of your own confused, conflicting feelings. In this classroom, competition should not thrive because it makes friendships sour, it makes people resent you, it makes others look at you with a different eye. What’s the point really?
It’s the last few months already. Let’s dance the spirit fingers dance, drum the siting-dawn-audry rhythm and cherish all the times that we can spend together. Let’s prove to ourselves that we can and we will
Love, yinghui
four left a trail- 8:00 PM
spirit fingers fever
27 July, 2005
arlow! spirit fingers fever these days + lotsa clapping and stomping + cold cold weather + tons of muscle aches....
yoyo pple! let's jia you jia you for our re-audition k! no matter how many muscle aches and palm aches we must do our best all they way k! jia you jia you! let's try to impress everyone with our very GOT CHUANG YI skit and "dance+clapping thing". whee!
yay! we must hyper hyper k! although very tired,but still must hyper hyper!
aft tt sch's gonna be a little more tough and trying, so 404! must take care of yourselves k! no more MCs ah!! no more flu, fever, colds (&falling down on my part)!! we'll fight till the end!!! look fwd to end of eoys and o levels. just round the corner!
but at the same time, it'll mean that sch's going to end and so is our time together. but, NO WORRIES! we'll enjoy the best that we have now and we'll have many many gatherings, yeah?
with that, ai lao hu you men! (i love you all!)
luv, kl
four left a trail- 10:09 PM
yo everyone!
haha.. spirit fingers rock don't they? haha.. need you guys to help. probably need to stay back during the recess at least half an hour to 45 mins per day so dat we can settle teachers day! last thing as a class! =))) yup. and if you got any suggestions feel free to shoot! and if you don't feel good bout doing something, like if you seriously hate thriller or something. just feel free to say. haha.. i m not a human eater, wun eat you up one. YA!
a big thanks goes to everyone who made an effort! shan't list names, but you know who you are!
thanks to those who brought the uniforms!
those who choregraphed the dance
those who gave their suggestions
those who put in effort learning
those who were willing to be good listeners and just listen
those who were willing to voice out opinion
those who stayed back so that we could make this possible
those who cut the music
those who brought BRING IT ON!
haha.. which is basically everyone. this reminds me of the clean toilet campaign thingey this morning =)
yup! =))) haha.. the end.
dawn
four left a trail- 8:45 PM
26 July, 2005
hi class. ((:
i've been mulling over the problem(s). it seems that even though our dirty linen is hanging out there roasting in the sun, no one is giving a damn about it. the only way to prevent, well, not say prevent because cliques do have a natural inclination to form, but the only way, as i see it, is to interact more with everyone. funny though. ask yourself. when was the last time you ever talked to all the people in the class in a day? the answer lies in you.
it isn't hard. trust me. but perhaps we are so comfortable and happy in our comfort zones that we really have no urge to mingle. i can't blame you. instead, i congratulate you on having found that 'sole' friend. (:
just like remember the titans, we are also fighting a battle. only that ours appears in a different context. we have so many commitments, a heavy workload, and (it feels like) the weight of the world on our scrawny shoulders (pardon the description). are YOU going to let it get you down? do you come to school just for the nitty gritty pieces of knowlege you gain everyday? or do you have another equally important reason as well? are we going to stay together through thick and thin?
well, the teacher's day performance is a real chance for us to make 'amends'.
it's not that no one cares... i'm sure that we all love 404 and what it stands for. but we do have to fight for what we love and believe in. with that love, we are indestructible. love can conquer all, if only you put your mind to it.
that's all i have to say. my 2 cents worth. though it may not make sense - wai yee
four left a trail- 8:52 PM
Good Job! My lovely 4/4!
Let's all hum the music together. "Are you ready?"
SPIRIT FINGERS!
Let's do our best for the upcoming re-auditions.
Should have brought a camera today to take everyone in different uniforms. Never mind, shall remember on the 4th of August. Hoho.
RGS uniform!
LOVE,
shu
four left a trail- 6:31 PM
absolutely for four-oh-four
20 July, 2005
dis is the first tym im blogging on our/a blog (u all shd noe wat i mean)..anyway, i want to dedicate special thanks to our dear waiyee for making the effort to create a totally-four'o'four class blog...*claps* i also haf to say sorry for only reciprocating waiyee's gesture after so long..really sorry..
to dawn: dun feel that u haf not been a great act. coord..cos i think u and yinghui have been wonderful... :) trust me
to dawn, aud and kl: tks a lot for crafting the skit for tchrs day 05..we will play our part by being extra good actresses..i hope this bit frm us would be satisfactory..
in response to shu's post, i cant say much bcos i havent been there. but im sure u guys enjoyed ur nite dancing
4-04, this term is tough and im sure all of us have deemed it to be the truth..thou there will be stress and tension, esp in the classrm where we learn and pia for hw, i hope it would not create any permanent psycholgical, emotional strain in all of us. Also hope it would not result in the scene that waiyee has written abt in her previous post...
therefore, let us all learn to take things in our stride and be more sensitive and understanding in our relationships..we will live and grow as four-oh-four..and our spirit will last 4eva!
-hanyun-
four left a trail- 9:46 PM
4o4
18 July, 2005
hi guys.. haha.. for the 1st time i actually rmb the username and password. just need the class's help to do some stuff for teacher's day auditions. i know aud joce kl me doing the script. but its going to take some time to complete cuz we are all busy (considering the enormous amt of sias that are still PENDING). anyway, yup. so if you have ideas just shoot. would make our lives much easier. we would try to do a draft by wed, since aud kl me meeting for chem sia on wed. *cross fingers* meanwhile, tease that brain of yours by coming up with fresh ideas. if you rmb any of the teacher's quotes, tell any one of us ya? thanks.
oh. and i would like to take the chance to apologise if i have not been a very good activity coordinator. first time doing this job. so ya. sorry.
Dawn
four left a trail- 8:03 PM
THANKS!
14 July, 2005
Thanks to all who came down for Dance Nite 2005! Whether as a organizer, performer, emcee or as the lovely audience, thank you very much!
Thank you for coming! (:
LOVE,
shu
P.S. How do you guys think it went?
four left a trail- 11:26 PM
09 July, 2005
Name: NYGH2004304, or otherwise known as 304
Age: Rightfully 15, but there is one going on 17, and some slow ones still stuck at 14
Weight: Large variation [you would not want to know]
Height: Once again, large variation
Shoe size: Mostly acceptable, but there are some with extremely gargantuan feet
Skin colour: Largely fair, although there are some chao-dah ones
Eye colour: Black [I hope]
Hair colour: Black, some with white strands
Length of fingers: Ranges from stubby to lengthy
Other details: Not that I care
Detailed Report on Individual Homo Sapiens
NYGH200430401- generally hyperactive - cannot control her singing [though voice is acceptable] - tends to sleep with an open mouth
NYGH200430402 - not a loud hailer - able to successfully choreograph a dance - had an incident whereby she slid off her chair for no reason
NYGH200430403 - soft spoken - tends to do something to her ears - bag of striking orange has been toned down to pink
NYGH200430404 - nice, bouncy hair that is suitable for pulling - adores adorable stuff - amazingly microscopic writing
NYGH200430405 - has a nickname of shu or shoe or shoo - has hands that can severely injure - sits beside a giant
NYGH200430406 - quiet - smart - looks extremely neat in council uniform
NYGH200430407 * shall be left for others to review
NYGH200430408 - has nice arms for wobbling - extraordinarily challenged [in the vertical sense] - has a thing for singing [awesome voice]
NYGH200430409 - boney - dark - never catch the ball she hits
NYGH200430410 - hamster-like - honeydew-papaya concoction - huge
NYGH200430411 - very soft - stencil-writing - makes an effort every morning to move towards the front of the row
NYGH200430412 - ngiam-ngiam - takes a liking for rubber ducks - another secret shall be revealed come 12 August
NYGH200430413 - enjoys hitting tables - fails to tuck in shirt, therefore exposing meat - has a type of segmented-laughter
NYGH200430414 - zhu ge liang - chinese history - swelling gums
NYGH200430415 - POKE - wobbles - generally unbearable
NYGH200430416 - enjoys wobbling fats - a laughter that surpasses all - stubby fingers
NYGH200430417 - ERR.....DOTS LORH!!! - stones - orange glasses make a good match
NYGH200430418 - WOW! - YEAH! - tok...tok...tok
NYGH200430419 - nice sandfly-bitten legs - partially enjoys hitting tables - wong-wong-wong, wong-wong-- SPLAT!
NYGH200430420 - likes to let down messy hair - makes high-pitch noises - betty boob look-a-like
NYGH200430421 - THE leaf - JJ!!!! - SUN YAN ZI!!!!
NYGH200430422 - THE artist - has deep cultural heritage - why why
---END OF REPORT---
four left a trail- 10:24 PM
07 July, 2005
i'm here to blog. ok you've just missed the ultra high and hyper me. beware, for the following entry may endeavour to bring about negative feelings surging through your veins, thick as blood, and twice as lethal as the dose they give you in the death chamber.
disclaimer:
what you'll find below is a series of highly evoking passage. evoking what? anger, perhaps, sadness, regret/disbelief? i don't know. this is just a side of me. and i would like to share it with you. this is what i think whenever i get down, whenever i'm not that cheery self you see in class. when i'm that tempest, having mood swings with the frequency of the metronome. boom, boom, boom. this is a highly disatisfied me, this is a very controversial me, this is my dissatisfaction, this is me. i'm sorry if i offend anyone, this is just ME. and i'm so sorry this is a public domain.
i thought we were united. unified, one for all and all for one, you name it, i thought we were it. but tomorrow's spectacle will prove me wrong, sans doute. i thought everyone would show up, but what's this i hear of people who cannot make it or who don't want to go. it feels useless. because this is just a hint of what is to befall us. next year, when we move on to hwa chong, i wonder will 404 still be the same. would you say hi to me when you walk past me? would you say hi to anyone else? would you pretend you never knew she existed? i really have no idea. it was supposed to be a class thing. like i can't believe i gave up my team for this. perhaps the carnival tomorrow will change my thinking, perhaps, perhaps not.
bit by bit, i see our class falling apart. and it's scaring me. what happened to the "best"? i hate to see it going all down the drain, drifting further and further away from sight with the stink of failure. what happened to model class? what happened to the four of old? that's what i'm trying to find back. that is what i want back. that is what i remember. i'm grasping at straws here...
i mean, i do see improvements in the class: like people doing duty, for starters. thank you, duty girls, for having this commitment to the class.
however, along with it, i begin to see the etchings of cliques in our class. some may scoff "wOw. it already happened so long ago". but lately, it's becoming more and more pronounced. i mean. you may very say that i belong in XX's clique, but i can assure you, i don't really belong. from my detached point of view, this sucks. you could see it happening during the class bbq, you can see it happen everyday. i realize that recently i've become more antisocial. i can go a few days without speaking to a member of 404. think. have you spoken to everyone personally today? i have not. that i do admit. and i'm sure that it's not only me. when will we make the effort to go and appreciate each and every contributing member of the class? when will we learn to treasure these beloved times, before they're gone? can you give me an answer?
i think my social skills suck. or am i just having plain mood swings? suddenly i cannot stand the temperament of some in the class. and i know that you guys probably can't stand mine either. i know i am very insensitive, i do shoot off my mouth regularly, and i always don't know what to do about it after that. say it to my face: i DO suck. i do realize it. sigh. i don't know why i can't be more accomodating, even my teammates have broken this to me, why have i become like this? i've tried hard to change, but i just can't attain that stage. this is one angsty entry. I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY I TURNED OUT LIKE THIS. you have no clue about the inner turmoil inside me now. i am not biased, regardless of what you say. though i may not include it in my entry, i do agonize over the points that do matter. and for that, i feel ridiculously stuck in myself. i have no room to manuever, i have no idea what to do now. i just feel so angry at myself. why?!
there is even internal conflict in the class. i know that i can't expect you to like everyone in the class, that's just the youthful, idealistic me. BUT DO YOU HAVE TO GO AROUND TALKING BEHIND THEIR BACKS? this i really wonder. i've learnt from past mistakes and experiences that you cannot judge a person, until his or her death bed. every one has some ounces of good in them. we are human, after all. we are not that bad. you shouldn't pass judgement on people, not because it's not fair to them, but it's not fair to you. trust me. you do not know what you are missing out. i mean, i have to personally thank a lot of people, dawn, ying hui, si ting, yu min, ai wen, these are the people i know who've rallied around me, supported me through times of duress, and held me safe, like a buoy. thank you. i'm sorry if you've been quietly doing that and i missed you out, but thank you. i know i'm far from perfect, and i am just glad that these people can truly like me for who i am. is it true? you really don't know how valuable that friend is, until you start facing obstacles. really. there have been many who've run away, and i don't blame them for it. i mean, i can understand, from an outsider's point of view. i'm just well, sad. but i can't do anything. i don't regret making mistakes, at least i've learnt from it. i don't believe that no one makes mistakes. i mean: one of my favourite quotes is "to err is human, to forgive is divine". how true is that? i guess i'm just sharing some of my values and thoughts. perhaps it's a different perspective of that you hold, i welcome any criticisms or comments. i mean. i wrote it, therefore i deserve it. right? i don't mean any malice, or menace, in anything that i say. i'm just numbed, i guess. but i'll always appreciate these true friends i've gleaned from this memorable period of my life - my adolescence.
but i mean, i do have to acknowledge the good things right? sorry, if you want to blame must blame ms choo. haha. she taught me how to craft a balanced 'argument' properly with desired effects, after all. i say argument, because there definitely are many opposing viewpoints in stark contrast to mine. and you're welcome to blog all about it. but i'm digressing. thank you class, for giving me innumerable memories to savour and behold, i'll always cherish them, as an integral part of my secondary school life. they are one of the most unforgettable moments, and memories i'll ever have. i mean. i do appreciate each and every one of you, even if i do hold these ugly feelings in my mind. please don't regard what i say as trite, because this is a highly personal and straight from the recesses of my heart. i mean. you can't get anymore deep down and personal than this, right? all in all, i'll just like to chorus a "i love you all, for now, for future, fourever".
but yet...
i feel it in my fingers, i feel it in my toes. think disaster.
like the killer waves that massacred people by the thousands last year, i can feel it's approach. deep in my heart. i dread it. and i really am at my wit's end. i am sick and tired. i feel so bad, to the extent that i could go to school and not speak to anyone for the whole day. i don't know what's happening to me. for those who have been living in a fantasy, or a fairytale all these while, it's time to wake up. you've been sleeping blissfully for long enough. i don't think i'm making a mountain out of a molehill. do you?
i don't know what's happening.
to me.
to the people around me.
to the class.
if it's just me, please ignore this entry. thank you, and have a good night. God bless 404.
with love,
wai yee
four left a trail- 10:02 PM
